Falling
by noxpirata
Summary: Smuggler/Republic Privateer Fira decides she needs someone else's insight to get her head around how she feels about a certain farmboy. Felt like this needed it's own post rather than being tacked onto anything else. Title comes from this song: /watch?v fCapveOCJAo
1. Chapter 1:If there was nowhere to land

With a sigh she tipped her head back against the door of her cabin and placed her hands on her face.

She caught the scent of the oil used to clean blasters on them. It was oddly soothing…

Because it reminded her of…

_Kriffing hell. That is not helping. _

With a sigh she sat down on what had become 'her' side of the bed and ran her hand through her red hair.

This time around she knew she couldn't blame how she was feeling on alcohol, or on her ship being stolen, or willingly getting attacked by Ragkghouls or at least on hundred convenient little excuses.

She knew she was all too good at making excuses and twisting truth. She was a smuggler, it was sort of part of the job.

But right now, she needed to be honest, and even more so, she realised honest with herself.

She tried to think, tried to work out just when and where she had found herself realising maybe this was more than just a fling.

Even after that rather awkward (but still very sweet) 'courting' conversation which she realised seemed a very long time ago she still didn't quite let herself get that much involved.

Sure the sentiment was sweet, but…

He'd asked her if she wanted a 'simple life', she'd said she'd miss him…

And then on Balmorra when she had argued with him, why she had she still didn't know, she still felt pretty bad for taking out her frustration on him.

Was it then? She remembered saying she wanted whatever was between them to continue. Yet she had still tried to push him away from her.

Maybe it was earlier than that… As to how early she didn't know.

Maybe even Taris? She tried not to think too much about that though..

She needed to talk to someone.

She reached into a pocket and pulled out her holocomm.

She wasn't quite sure who or what she was praying to if she could even call it praying but she was hoping to something, be it The Force or luck that the person on the other end would pick up.

She let out a breath she didn't even realise she was holding as the comm flickered into life and a familiar face came into view.

"Hey kid," The Mirialan's voice came through, "Haven't seen you in a while,"

"Been busy…"

She chuckled, "I've noticed, getting into trouble and out of it as usual"

"You busy?"  
"Not really,"

"Good… I need to talk to you Kexi,"

There was a pause in the conversation as the Mirialan sat herself down,

"I'm all ears,"


	2. Chapter 2: I wouldn't be scared at all

"You're not in trouble, are you?" Kexi asked, voice filled with concern

Fira shook her head, "It's a personal thing,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah…"

Kexi quirked an eyebrow

"And you're coming to _me_ about it?" She shook her head, "Kid you must be really desperate…"

Fira thought about turning the comm off… this was a stupid idea…

"Alright kid, spill."

There was a pause that seemed to drag on far too long whilst Fira tried to put her thoughts in order. Actually telling someone about this was going to be harder than she thought.

"Well, you know I picked that job up on Ord, right?"

"Yeah, and how it went sideways,"

_That's putting it mildly_

"Well…"

She cursed herself for a moment, why was this proving so hard?

"C'mon kid, this is clearly tying you in knots,"

She closed her eyes that seemed to help. Part of her was chiding her still, she was an adult, not a child, this should be easy enough to talk through…

"This guy came with me from Ord, I didn't expect him to stick around after I got my ship back, but he did."

She saw Kexi nod encouraging her to continue. ""He's kind of a goof in all honesty; he's a real farmboy, names his guns and has all these silly ideas about how he has to protect the womanfolk…"

Fira paused.

"And we've been through a lot; he's stuck by me the whole time, even after a few times I swear anyone else would have run away…"

_And maybe a few times I nearly pushed him away… _

She could have sworn Kexi sighed, "I'm guessing you two are together?"

"Yes…" She fidgeted slightly, "I mean it took a while… He was really skittish,"

"Skittish?"

"Yeah… on Taris I did something that was really kind of dumb but it did help a lot of people in the long run," Fira swore her arms started to hurt at the memory, "But afterwards I was so freaked out over it that I just clung to him, I don't think either of us knew what to do."

"Right... there's more to this…"

"And well, when we were done there both of us drank a bit too much…"

"Oh kid…" Concern flared up in the Mirlian's voice.

"Here's the thing, nothing happened, he nearly kissed me, I think I wanted him to, but somehow he caught himself just in time, gave me this whole spiel about me 'derservin' better"

Fira mentally winced, it wasn't one of her better moments.

"To be fair, I don't think either of us was in a good place right then…" The smuggler laughed nervously.

"I'm guessing though you two worked things out…"

"Yeah, you don't mind me leaving it at that?"

"And, so what's the problem, kid?"

"Well…" Fira sighed, "I think this is getting more serious,"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Well… I just don't know what to do… I'm not sure if…"

She _did_ hear Kexi sigh that time.

"Fira," Kexi sounded unusually serious right now, "Please be honest with this guy, it's not fair to lead him on..."

"Well…"

"What?"

"I don't know. Things have been weird, and everything keeps going sideways right now…"

"That's life,"

Fira sighed, and placed a hand to her head. There was an uncomfortable pause that seemed to drag for far too long. She knew Kexi was right though.

Still she didn't want to admit it.

"Fira…"

"I…"

"Look let me ask you one thing,"

"Okay…"

"Do _you_ want this thing to go somewhere?"

"I… I think I do" She sighed, "I guess with everything going on, I panicked a bit, lot of stuff's changed around…" Fira shook her head a moment, "I'm being silly, aren't I?"

"Nope, you're being human. And now we've got that sorted, listen to me, you don't have to take my advice, just listen,"

Fira wished there wasn't this large distance between them right now; it would make this whole conversation a lot easier. Or she hoped it would anyway.

"Just take this one day at a time, don't rush yourself."

"Is that it?"  
"Yeah, you know I'm not actually as wise as you think I am, not quite old enough for that yet."

"I know…" Fira smiled.

"Unless you want me to give you some long winded spiel? I can give you a good one if you want…"

"No, I'm good. Thanks. "

"Anytime kid, now just look after yourself, and I'm here, not sure what good I'll be but I'm here."

"You've helped, trust me,"

Fira watched as the comm faded out. She wouldn't say she felt 'better' maybe slightly less burdened maybe.

_One day at a time, I think I can manage that. _

She left her cabin, leaving the holocomm on the bed.

She found Corso at the techtable, tinkering with something. She sidled up behind him before hugging him. "Hey," She said against his ear.

She heard him chuckle, "Nice to see you too,"

For a little while she just stood there, letting the 'nice' feeling wash over her for a while. This was good.

"You seem happier."  
"Yeah? Well that's because you're here," She hugged him a little tighter to prove her point.

_One day at a time. _


End file.
